Overheard in a railway station

Overheard in a railway station:

“She’s been barred from McDonald’s”

Overheard on a train:

“You can’t say ‘Baa baa blacksheep’ any more, its racist. You have to say ‘baa baa rainbow sheep’”

“You can’t say ‘Baa baa rainbow sheep’! Its homophobic!”

(Teenage boys on their way to a football match – and both meant as a joke)

Heard in a gents toilet at a football stadium:

“Are you waiting for the trap?”

“Yeah, there’s someone in there”

“I’m right behind you. Well, not *that* close behind you.”

“This isn’t the Amex!”